'The best thing for me': Stokes opens up on retirement decision

Ben Stokes revealed that his decision to retire from international cricket had been weighing on him since England's Ashes tour of Australia, insisting it was ultimately the right call for both himself and the game he still loves.

The England captain announced on the fourth day of the series-deciding Test against New Zealand at Trent Bridge that Monday would mark the end of his international career, bringing the curtain down on a 15-year journey that has spanned 122 Tests, 114 ODIs and 43 T20Is. "It might sound quite selfish but this decision is genuinely the best thing for me right now," Stokes told Sky Sports in an interview at the end of the day's play.

"I hope it's the best thing for the team going forward but I also hope it's what will allow me to keep loving this game that has given me so much."

Stokes dismissed suggestions that his decision stemmed solely from the disciplinary issue that saw him left out of England's second Test against New Zealand following an incident at a London nightclub. Instead, he explained that retirement had first crossed his mind after the Ashes, before resurfacing during the opening Test of the home summer.

"The Lord's Test, for me, was something that brought back negative feelings about where I was in my career," he said. "I'd worked so hard since getting home [after the Ashes loss] to put things right, or at least that's what I thought I was doing. I put so much time and effort into doing that and I just burned myself out."

While maintaining that the decision had been building for some time, Stokes admitted the events of the past few weeks reinforced his thinking. "There was a build-up to it, how things were during the whole week at Lord's and then another moment when I sat next to Joe Root in the dressing room. Obviously another scenario happened that added to it. It's never easy with me, is it? It was an unfortunate situation to be involved in over the past two weeks."

A brief return to county cricket with Durham during his enforced absence from the England side proved to be a turning point. Stokes said rediscovering his enjoyment of the game there contrasted sharply with how he felt after returning to the international setup, and confirmed he intends to continue playing domestic cricket.

"Being back at Durham, when I wasn't playing in the second Test, I found a new lease of life for the game, but unfortunately I just couldn't get that feeling back this week. I'm very excited about the next part of what I get to do. Going back to playing for my boyhood club Durham, I'm comparing this week to that week - right now I am buzzing, but there have been moments this week that have been really tough and it just adds to everything and it makes it clear that I've made the right decision."

Stokes revealed the decision itself crystallised while he was padding up to bat during England's first innings at Trent Bridge on Saturday. He informed Joe Root and vice-captain Harry Brook later that evening before telling the rest of the squad on Sunday morning.

"It's been an interesting four or five weeks, maybe six months in general," added Stokes. "There are all kinds of emotions when this day comes - relief, happiness, excitement, sadness. Everything that you go through. It's the best thing that I've ever been asked to do, captaining England. It is the greatest honour to have on your shoulders but there is also another side to it that people don't see, only those closest to you see it.

"My family, my wife, they see the bits where it does drain you and it does affect you negatively."

The retirement also comes after a physically demanding few years for the all-rounder. Knee, hamstring, shoulder and adductor injuries have all tested his body, while he also stepped away from cricket in 2021 to prioritise his mental health. "Everyone says that moment [when you decide to retire] kicks you straight in the face and I thought it did a few weeks ago," he said.

"I guess you go through the whole process of speaking to people close to you, and the more you speak, the more spills out. It's brutal what we do, physically and mentally. It's all getting a bit tiring these days, at 35 I feel like I have got to do so much physical work to keep doing what I'm doing out there."

The announcement was made public midway through the fourth day's play at Trent Bridge while Stokes was in the middle of a spell at Trent Bridge, and fittingly, he struck with the very next delivery he bowled. It was another memorable moment in a career that includes Ashes success, the 2019 ODI World Cup triumph, the Headingley miracle against Australia later that summer, and England's T20 World Cup title in 2022.

"I'm pretty happy and content with everything I've managed to do," he said. "I'm an Ashes winner, I've won a 50-over World Cup, a T20 World Cup. I've also had the opportunity to captain the team and play alongside some of the best players to have played the game. There's not too much I can complain about, really."